‘From Surviving to Thriving’, Darren Thayre on overcoming his PTSD and busting the myths

Everyone has defining movements in their lives, for Darren Thayre it was in choosing to not let PTSD limit his achievements, personal growth and relationships. It took considerable self-convincing to reconcile his internal struggle and subtle symptoms with his ‘strong and Mr positive’ image. The Change Leader and Consultant reminisced, ‘Somebody said to me, You have PTSD at first, I said, ‘No way! I am Mr. Positive, everything is great, I have a good life.’       

In a recent interview with us, Darren spoke at length about overcoming his PTSD and applying his learnings in Google’s boardrooms.

Let’s dive deeper into his life, recovery, work and how he drives effective change management at a tech behemoth in an ever-disrupting tech landscape.   

A changing Persona and lack of Self Care: The Diagnosis   

Around the beginning of 2020, I was diagnosed with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). I think I had been a very positive person and a problem solver but I also realised that I hadn’t dealt with many things from my childhood and that had a substantial impact on my behaviour and thought processes. My persona changed, when I drank, I would drink to excess, my body wasn't fit and lacked good nutrition.   

More than anything, my internal narrative, my voice in my head was constantly on overdrive and I was on high alert all the time. It was really exhausting. It took a fair bit of convincing for me to believe that I actually had it. And then, because I am generally positive and quite an action-focused person, I had to take a call to change. 

Recovering from it reminded me that every transformation, whether it is corporate or not, starts with people, human beings, our psyche and our beliefs, and our resistance. 

Cynicism and Big Companies resisting Change: Holistic Transformation    

I think there are two parts to that. People running big companies do often resist change because it is scary and hard. 

And the second part is, in the end, it comes down to people. It is so obvious but we talk about change in terms like ‘Did the company change? Ultimately, it is a collection of people that need to change, and I think one of our challenges is we group them all together and say, ‘Did everybody change’? ‘Did the company change?'

At Google, we call it rivers of thinking - traditions that hold you back.  

I think we have to make it deeply personal to the individual with the help of mentors or tribe leaders that are experts and have mastery in that area of change. Then, I believe we can start to see momentum, and you will see the ground swell and people will build this muscle to change constantly. So, I think it is deeply personal even in a corporate setting. 

Implementing change and employee experience and people strategy at Google: Personalisation 

Google is obviously one of the big companies with a very distributed kind of nature so it’s hard to give one answer for every business. 

But there is a big conscious focus to achieve the personalisation I have described. We have invested significantly in people, tools and in discussing it, whether it is diversity, equity, and inclusion or well-being and appreciating the myriad ways people learn. 

Having said that, we are constantly taking feedback from teams on WFH policies, perks and how we operate as a company. There is a lot more learning to come, and in the end, I think those things are important to both our teams but also our products and customers. 

Disruptive business landscapes and winning against them: Designing resilient processes 

So, one of the things about Google that I really like, it is the world’s best firm at change management. We are constantly assessing what we are doing today, and how we can do it better, how behaviours and technology might change. We are constantly seeking new processes and figuring out what does and doesn’t work. Our decisions are data-driven. Google doesn’t have the concept of Sacred Cows. 

Everything is up for debate and challenge, and that's how we avoid having embedded processes that people think are untouchable. 

Rethinking possibilities: How PTSD helped

Pre-PTSD, I placed so much of my personal value on work performance. 75% of my personal happiness came from how I was doing in the workplace, which is clearly not very healthy.

So, I have consciously shown up every day for work, and worked really hard but also have a life beyond it - I now teach at a university in Singapore, stopped drinking and exercise and eat better. The net result has been a better family and professional life. 

I am more focused and more engaged, I am more positive and more energised. I have actually achieved more during this time and it has also allowed me to be more thoughtful and strategic in the workplace. 

I come into work with a more crystallised idea of what I want to achieve and how I can achieve it. PTSD has undoubtedly been the biggest change in my life despite having a career in change and transformation. Now I have started to share this journey with everyone and let them ponder over this thought, “If I can get through this, then you cannot tell me that we can’t change the way we work, learn new skills and interact differently”.